(Gift basket of roses I made for one of my best friends baby shower that I otherwise would have missed if I were in Spain)I’m not certain I anyone is still reading my blog but if so you will be happy to know I am back safely in the states. Today marks three weeks to be exact (02/01/09)! It’s quite odd when you are put in a situation that you are torn by. When I was moving back I was bummed but kind of excited because the guy I had been dating and I had just broken up due to distance… well problem solved, I was coming home!! Upon my return he was sticking to his guns and proclaimed that his life had changed and that he just wouldn’t be able to make me happy. For what it’s worth that’s life and if he says he can’t make me happy then he’s probably right. Where there lacks the desire, there lacks the option. Sometime things just don’t turn out the way we think they will.
It’s still strange though because I still have this desire to be in this city where I began to create a little ‘home’ for myself. Barcelona had new friends, new work, new adventures and new possibilities constantly. Even on a day when exhaustion over ran ones body there was still the desire to go see more, go do more… just go exist in life in this amazing city. The contrast to this idea of being in this beautiful city is the idea that it lacks what I love about home. The familiarity of my town the people that surround me and know me sometimes better than I know myself. The built connections and joys that I have built upon for the past several years of my existence. Who would ever want to criticize those blessings?
So I can’t say that being home is my first choice because it isn’t, especially because one of the things I was so looking forward to is no longer apart of my life. However, I now get the chance to stand with one of my very best friends in the delivery room as she gives birth to her second child. An honor and gift that I cannot even believe I am so blessed I will be able to experience. As well as, the planning of my other best friend’s wedding whom, I am the Maid of Honor! I also get the chance to make new connections with people in my life that I had lost touch with, such as my cousin Leslie, as well and learn more about my new friends. When I live life here it is hard to see how I could have missed out on all that I have experienced in the last three weeks. Don’t get me wrong I certainly do miss Spain and knowing that something new, fresh and exciting could have been happening there. I do get bummed sometimes but when I look around at what I have here it is an easy reminder that either way I’ve got it pretty stinking good. Sometimes life is like a two-sided coin, either way the coin is still money and it’s still yours.
Much love to all my readers.
